What Is Wrong With Adam Lane Smith?

September 19, 2026

Adam Lane Smith is a controversial attachment specialist and former licensed marriage and family therapist who transitioned to full-time coaching in 2021. Criticisms of his work primarily focus on his business practices, content methodology, and professional conduct, with many detractors alleging predatory behavior and a lack of scientific rigor.

Controversial Content and Bias

Predatory Marketing: Critics accuse Smith of targeting anxious women with the intent to keep them in relationships with avoidant men, rather than helping clients achieve genuine security. His content is frequently described as catering to high-earning avoidants while dismissing the needs of anxious attachers.
Lack of Evidence: Many professionals argue that Smith’s explanations of neuroscience and hormones are oversimplified or unscientific. Detractors claim he replaces collaborative healing with expert authority and uses fear-based language to drive urgency.
Censorship: Users report that Smith and his team actively delete critical comments and block users who question his methodology or demand sources, creating an echo chamber.

Professional Ethics and Credentials

Loss of License: Multiple sources claim Smith lost his therapy license due to malpractice or ethical violations, leading to his rebranding as an unregulated life coach. He voluntarily ended his practice, citing frustration with insurance and diagnostic requirements, though critics view this as a way to avoid professional oversight.
Aggressive Sales Tactics: Trustpilot and Reddit reviews highlight a slippery sales process involving aggressive, pushy coaches who allegedly use gaslighting and transactional language to sell expensive, multi-thousand-dollar coaching packages.
Controversial Associations: Smith has faced backlash for his past support of Lyndon McLeod (Roman McClay), a far-right novelist and mass killer, and for promoting a now-banned book associated with him.

Coaching Quality and Results

Poor Client Experience: Clients have reported chaotic onboarding, unrecorded sessions, and a lack of access to promised tools. Some describe feeling talked over, dismissed, or emotionally manipulated during sessions.
Oversimplified Methods: Critics argue his approach ignores deep-seated trauma and history, focusing instead on rigid labeling and superficial behavioral changes that fail to produce long-term secure attachment.

Clients reporting chaotic onboarding, unrecorded sessions, and lack of access to tools typically face process failures and misaligned expectations, where disorganized handoffs and unclear communication lead to disengagement and post-sale anxiety. In therapy, feelings of being talked over, dismissed, or emotionally manipulated are documented as negative experiences or hindering aspects of the relationship, often stemming from therapist misbehavior (such as disregard or disrespect), poor interpersonal matches, or poor treatment fit (such as rigid or unstructured approaches).

Business Onboarding Failures

Chaotic onboarding is primarily a process problem involving gaps between tools and lack of clarity, rather than just personnel issues.

Documentation and Delays: Failure to automate document collection and chasing causes significant delays, with firms taking 6–8 days instead of the optimal 2–3 days.
Communication Breakdowns: Silos between departments and info asymmetry during handovers create confusion, leading clients to feel the engagement is harder than expected.
Loss of Trust: A disorganized start plants seeds of doubt; research indicates that 86% of people are more likely to stay loyal to businesses that invest in proper onboarding, while chaos causes clients to mentally downgrade the relationship.

Psychotherapy Negative Experiences

Negative experiences in psychotherapy occur in 2-14% of cases where condition worsens beyond short-term fluctuation, and are categorized into specific clusters.

Therapist Misbehavior: Clients report rejection, disrespect, humiliation, and broken confidentiality, or feel therapists use self-disclosure for their own benefit rather than the client’s needs.
Hindering Relationship Dynamics: Experiences include confusion, uncertainty, and poor interpersonal matches, where clients feel disconnected or locked in negative interaction patterns.
Poor Treatment Fit: Clients may find therapy too structured (coercive, overly directive) or too unstructured (passive, silent), leading to feelings of abandonment or lack of practical tools.
Emotional Impact: These experiences can cause emotional distress, hopelessness, and loss of motivation, with some clients requiring acute psychiatric care or leading to attrition from therapy.

The Transition From Therapy to Coaching

According to his professional profile and various media interviews, Smith shifted his career path for several distinct reasons:

Scale of Impact: As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), his reach was limited to one-on-one or local clinic sessions. Moving online allowed him to target a larger audience.
Focus on Attachment Theory: He rebranded as an “Attachment Specialist” to focus exclusively on helping people build secure relationships using attachment science.
Business Model: He transitioned into writing books, speaking at events, and running an international digital coaching practice through Adam Lane Smith’s Official Website.

Because life coaching is an unregulated field, it is common for former therapists who make this switch to face skepticism online regarding their credentials or motives. However, official statements confirm he retired from his clinical role on his own terms.

Professional and Ethical Controversies

Loss of License: Multiple sources state that Smith lost his license as a licensed marriage and family therapist due to malpractice (Lyndon McLeod/Roman McClay, and Heidi Priebe), after which he transitioned to an unregulated life coaching role.
Unethical Sales Tactics: Trustpilot reviews and Reddit users describe his sales process as aggressive, pushy, and manipulative, with coaches allegedly using gaslighting and high-pressure tactics to secure expensive consultations.
Censorship: Critics report that Smith and his team delete negative comments and block users who question his methodology or ask for evidence, creating an echo chamber that defenders argue stifles valid critique.

The perception that Adam Lane Smith wants men to be “submissive” or “female-minded” usually stems from a contrast between his core focus—attachment theory and relationship psychology—and the more aggressive “alpha male” rhetoric common in modern men’s self-help spaces.

While his advice can sometimes be misinterpreted as softening men, his actual philosophy is rooted in a different definition of strength. The friction between his coaching style and traditional expectations generally comes down to three main factors:

1. The Focus on Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

In mainstream internet culture, masculinity is often equated with stoicism, self-sufficiency, and emotional detachment. Smith argues the exact opposite: that a man’s inability to express his needs or fears actually destroys relationships.

The Misconception: When he coaches men to open up, share their internal pressures, or admit when they feel unappreciated, critics view it as adopting a “female” emotional framework.
His Stance: He argues that silent, hyper-independent men eventually burn out or detach. In his view, opening a dialogue and building emotional safety is a highly disciplined, masculine form of leadership.

2. Promoting Interdependence Over Dominance

A lot of modern dating advice for men focuses on maintaining total control, “spinning plates,” or remaining detached to keep the upper hand. Smith’s work centers heavily on fixing avoidant attachment styles and building secure bonds.

The Misconception: By telling men to actively consider their partner’s emotional safety and move away from adversarial dating mentalities, some observers interpret it as advocating for submissiveness or “giving in” to women.
His Stance: He teaches that true security requires mutual reliance (interdependence), not total self-sufficiency. He frequently emphasizes that men should be providers and problem solvers, but that they must allow their wives to actively participate in and respect that role rather than shutting them out.

3. Critiquing “Fake” Leadership

Smith frequently addresses the idea that many men claim titles like “leader” or “head of the household” without possessing the actual relational skills to back it up.

The Misconception: When he points out that women are exhausted from “reparenting” emotionally immature grown men, it can feel like a direct attack on traditional male authority.
His Stance: He asserts that real authority isn’t demanded; it is built through emotional maturity, trustworthiness, and clear communication.

Ultimately, what some perceive as a “female-minded” approach is his emphasis on relational mechanics—communication, emotional regulation, and intimacy—tools that are historically associated with women’s spaces but which he believes are essential for any man wanting a functional, long-term marriage.

As You seek understanding and clarity in your life you should always turn to your Heavenly Father for Guidance

Table of Contents

Youtube Video (Todays Message)
Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
Women are looking for a fathers love
Spiritual Order – In The Family and Church
How God Commands Us To Forgive Those Who We Have Resentment Toward
Join Our Newsletter
Top Seven Articles
Our Mission Statement
Our Vision
Tithing And Giving!

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Note: We do use YouTube Video’s under the “Fair Use” Act under the Copyright Law:

“Fair use is a doctrine in the United States copyright law codified in Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976.¹ It provides for the legal, non-licensed citation or incorporation of copyrighted material in another author’s work without requiring permission from the rights holders, such as for commentary, criticism, news reporting, research, teaching or scholarship.⁰¹ The U.S. Copyright Office Fair Use Index should prove helpful in understanding what courts have to date considered to be fair or not fair but it is not a substitute for legal advice.²“

Father God, Let Your Will Be Done, Not My Will mademanministries

This is a major important point about forgiveness

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. -MATTHEW 5:24 KJV

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

I would start out by saying what Jesus Christ would want us to do? Pray and how should we pray? The Lord’s Prayer, and how often should we pray? Continually. Why do we use the Lord’s Prayer and not some other? The Lord’s Prayer covers all the areas that is important for our spiritual being.

When we pray the Lords prayer we ask to forgive our enemies, let God’s will be done, the kingdom to come. By praying the Lord’s prayer we let go of many thoughts we have in our head and give them back to God so we can have things revealed to us.

We must overcome resentment in our heart, and in a past video I shared about Dr. Jordan Peterson talks about how resentment can destroy us and we become our own very worst enemy and Jordan goes on to say that we must talk to people what we have resentment toward to overcome that resentment. Other people who lived in the past who talked about this is Jesus Christ and someone who is living now who talks about this daily is Brother Augustine, Dr. John MacArthur, Dr. Charles Stanley, Rev. John Piper and Pastor Paul Washer.

Women are looking for a fathers love

Women are looking for a fathers love. Its important that men understand women are looking for a fathers love and not get screwed. Woman more than anything are looking for a strong spiritual man to lead the future (the family). I think in many YouTube videos on biblical teachings, how young women are being hurt by men that are just looking to get laid instead of doing right and being in Christ and setting a good example of a strong man. We must be in Christ, hate no one, love all, forgave theses we resent, love what is right and support people who are walking with God.

Women need their fathers in their lives to be strong man to be good examples and not BETA men or weak examples of what a man should be. Its important that a man leads the way as Christ leads men, we as man need to fellow Jesus Christ to keep society from going to HELL.

Every day you can see or people watch how some men and women our living in hell without the right spiritual order then you will continue your hellish way according to 2 Peter. You can also find it in Romans. God will give you over to a reprobate mind.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient. – Romans 1:28 (KJV)

In Romans 1, Paul refers to something known as a reprobate mind. If you’re not familiar with the term reprobate, the literal definition in the Greek is failing to pass the test, unapproved, counterfeit.

Spiritual Order – In The Family and Church

God the father

Jesus Christ

Father (Men over women)

Mother (Women over children)

Here is Book, Chapter and Verse from the Kings James Version 1 Corinthian 11:2-16, But the main message is in 1 Corinthian 11:3: “³But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

A Woman Conferring The Spiritual Order According to Saint Paul And How The War On The Family Is Being Wage:

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How You Treat People Is Who You Are! On Judgement Day You Will Be Judged How You Treated The Less Fortunate (Open Letter

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Father’s Rights

Open Letter To: President Joe Biden, President Putin, Pope Francis, Governors Of All States In America (Any Government Leaders, Officials Who Call Jesus Christ Lord):

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Daniel Amneus – The Garbage Generation.pdf Link

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The Ten Lepers – Resource for Kids Ministry mademanministries — The Ten Lepers

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How God Commands Us To Forgive Those Who We Have Resentment Toward.

All of us are tested everyday by our personal internal struggle coming from resentment of what happened earlier in our lives as children typically what our mother did to us, telling how our fathers were not good enough or driving us away from our fathers when we were children. We most go to the people that we have resentment against and forgive them. By forgiving our mothers or whoever we have resentment against, God will forgive us and we can return to the heavenly Father through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

It was said if you don’t love everyone then you love no one. People today live like the Old Testament people did. We must forgive and love everyone as God Commanded us to do according to Matthew 22:34-40.

After Reading The Passage I would Recommend Doing A Silent Prayer

Its is said: Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10 King James Version (KJV)

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Now is the time for a new movement of men. As brothers, fathers let’s become who we’re created to be, knowing our identity, purpose, and destiny in Christ. Then let’s do, linking arms to change the world for good … and for God. Help bring transformation and revival to our families, churches, and communities.

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