When parents ask, “My kid is an adult—why won’t they figure it out?”, they’re often expressing frustration, concern, or helplessness about a child who seems stuck in poor decisions, emotional patterns, or estranged relationships. However, adult development is not a switch that flips at age 18 or 21—it’s a gradual, nonlinear process influenced by emotional maturity, life experiences, and psychological readiness.

Just as children don’t instantly gain full cognitive reasoning until around age 12–13, emotional and identity development continues into the late 20s and beyond. Many young adults are still forming their worldview, processing past family dynamics, and learning from mistakes. Expecting them to “figure it all out” immediately can create distance rather than connection.

Developmental and Psychological Factors

Cognitive and Emotional Maturity

Until the prefrontal cortex fully develops (around age 25), adults may struggle with impulse control, long-term planning, and self-reflection. This means even grown children may act emotionally rather than logically, much like younger kids.

Past Family Dynamics

In cases of parental alienation or emotional manipulation, adult children may have been indoctrinated into a distorted family narrative. As one former alienated adult shared, waking up to the truth often requires a trigger—like becoming a parent, entering therapy, or experiencing unconditional love. Without such catalysts, the status quo persists.

Studies, such as the 2023 University of Tasmania research, identify 11 catalysts for change, including:

• Maturation and cognitive reflection
• Experiencing parental alienation as a parent
• Therapy
• Discovering a parent’s dishonesty
• Becoming a parent

These don’t happen on a schedule—they emerge from lived experience.

The Role of Trust and Communication

Many adult children say they don’t “figure things out” because they don’t feel safe questioning their beliefs or sharing doubts. If past conversations were judgmental or corrective, they may shut down. Asking “Why?” can sound like an accusation: “Give me a reason not to punish you.”

Instead, open-ended, non-judgmental questions like:

• “What’s been on your mind lately?”
• “How did that situation feel to you?”
• “I’ve been reflecting on our past—what do you think about it now?”

…can invite reflection without defensiveness.

When Parents Struggle to Let Go

Sometimes, the real issue isn’t the child’s inability to “figure it out”—it’s the parent’s difficulty seeing their child as a separate, autonomous adult. Signs include:

• Offering unsolicited advice
• Making decisions for them
• Dismissing their choices as immature

As one parent reflected: “I didn’t realize my advice felt like criticism until my child told me.” Adult children often don’t need solutions—they need to be heard.

Supporting Growth Without Control

You can’t force insight, but you can create conditions for it:

• Stay connected without pressure: Be present, but don’t demand change.
• Model healthy behavior: Show emotional regulation, accountability, and openness.
• Respect their pace: Growth happens when they’re ready, not when you are.
• Set boundaries if needed: Especially if living together, clear expectations help both parties.

As one expert notes: “Adult children won’t change unless they’re forced to—by life, not by you.” Let consequences, not lectures, be the teacher.

Resources for Parents

Navigating this phase is challenging, but you’re not alone. Consider:

• Therapy or coaching for yourself to process frustration and adjust expectations.
• Books and podcasts on adulthood bias and emotional development.
• Support groups for parents of adult children, especially in cases of estrangement or alienation.

Remember: Your child’s journey is theirs—not a reflection of your parenting failure. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is wait, love, and leave the door open.

What Does The KJV Bible Say?

In the 

King James Version (KJV) of the Bible, several verses address the transition from childhood to the personal responsibility of adulthood. While parents are commanded to “train up a child” (Proverbs 22:6), the Bible also emphasizes that as individuals become adults, they must “put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11) and bear their own burdens of responsibility. 

The following table highlights KJV verses relevant to the frustration of an adult child not yet “figuring it out” or taking responsibility:

Aspect of Responsibility	KJV Bible Verse (Key Segment)	Meaning in Adulthood
Personal Growth	1 Corinthians 13:11 – “…when I became a man, I put away childish things.”	Indicates a clear biblical expectation for adults to leave behind immature behaviors.
Individual Accountability	Galatians 6:5 – “For every man shall bear his own burden.”	Every adult is ultimately responsible for their own life’s “load” and choices.
Work and Provision	2 Thessalonians 3:10 – “…if any would not work, neither should he eat.”	Establishes personal industry and work as a requirement for self-sustenance.
Parental Role Shift	Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother…”	The divine design includes an eventual physical and emotional separation from parents.
Spiritual Sovereignty	Ezekiel 18:20 – “…the son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son…”	Parents are not spiritually responsible for the sins or failures of their adult children.

Guidance for the Parent

• Release the Burden: The Bible suggests that while parents provide training, adult children are responsible for their own “scorecard” before God.
• The “Prodigal” Example: The Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) illustrates that sometimes an adult must be allowed to experience the consequences of their poor choices before they “come to themselves”.
• Prayer and Trust: Scripture encourages parents to trust God’s sovereignty rather than their own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6) when children make foolish choices. 

What Books Could I Read To Help?

You can find several Christian books on reconciliation and parental alienation at Walmart.com, focusing on biblical principles and prayer.

Books on Reconciliation & Conflict Resolution

• The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande: This book offers practical, biblical principles for resolving conflicts in various relationships.
• From Alienation to Reconciliation: Salvation for a Divided World by Adam Rodrigues: This title specifically addresses the journey from a state of alienation to reconciliation within a Christian framework.
• Resources for Reconciliation Reconciling All Things: A Christian Vision for Justice, Peace and Healing (Paperback): This book provides a broader Christian vision for peace and healing in relationships.
• Faith and Family Focus Christian Marriage Conflict Resolution Guide: Biblical Strategies for Effective Communication, Forgiveness, and Strength by Notemedia Press: While focused on marriage, the book contains strategies for communication and forgiveness that are applicable to other family conflicts. 

Books on Praying for an Alienated Child

Parental Alienation Survival Coach: Healing, Humor, Heart, Poetry, Prayers, Verses, Self-Care and My 6-Step Program to Be Better, Not Bitter! by Brenda Newman: This resource includes dedicated sections on prayers and verses to help parents navigate the pain of alienation from a Christian perspective.

Coping with Estrangement: A Christian’s Perspective on Learning to Live with Estrangement (Paperback): This book, available at Walmart.com, helps parents manage the emotional and spiritual challenges of estrangement.

The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian: This widely acclaimed series (available in various editions at Walmart.com) offers guidance and specific prayers for parents seeking God’s intervention in their children’s lives.

Pray, Lost Children, for You Are Loved (Paperback): This is a prayer-focused resource for those with children who are spiritually or physically lost from the family. 

These books offer guidance rooted in KJV principles to help navigate the complex dynamics of family conflict and alienation.

These KJV-aligned books provide strategies for resolving family conflict and praying for estranged children.

As You seek understanding and clarity in your life you should always turn to your Heavenly Father for Guidance

Table of Contents

• Youtube Video (Todays Message)
• Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
• Women are looking for a fathers love
• Spiritual Order – In The Family and Church
• How God Commands Us To Forgive Those Who We Have Resentment Toward
• Join Our Newsletter
• Top Seven Articles
• Our Mission Statement
• Our Vision
• Tithing And Giving!

When Tithing please give what you feel is good to the amount we are helping you in your spiritual life.

Here is a YouTube video to help theses who need to understand someone explaining the important message, the YouTube video is called, “My kid is an adult…Why won’t they figure it out?”, This video is with The Anti-Alienation Project YouTube Channel:

Note: MadeManMinistries.com has no relations with The Anti-Alienation Project YouTube Channel, But MadeManMinistries.com enjoys sharing the word.

Note: We do use YouTube Video’s under the “Fair Use” Act under the Copyright Law:

“Fair use is a doctrine in the United States copyright law codified in Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976.¹ It provides for the legal, non-licensed citation or incorporation of copyrighted material in another author’s work without requiring permission from the rights holders, such as for commentary, criticism, news reporting, research, teaching or scholarship.⁰¹ The U.S. Copyright Office Fair Use Index should prove helpful in understanding what courts have to date considered to be fair or not fair but it is not a substitute for legal advice.²“

This is a major important point about forgiveness

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. -MATTHEW 5:24 KJV

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

I would start out by saying what Jesus Christ would want us to do? Pray and how should we pray? The Lord’s Prayer, and how often should we pray? Continually. Why do we use the Lord’s Prayer and not some other? The Lord’s Prayer covers all the areas that is important for our spiritual being.

When we pray the Lords prayer we ask to forgive our enemies, let God’s will be done, the kingdom to come. By praying the Lord’s prayer we let go of many thoughts we have in our head and give them back to God so we can have things revealed to us.

We must overcome resentment in our heart, and in a past video I shared about Dr. Jordan Peterson talks about how resentment can destroy us and we become our own very worst enemy and Jordan goes on to say that we must talk to people what we have resentment toward to overcome that resentment. Other people who lived in the past who talked about this is Jesus Christ and someone who is living now who talks about this daily is Brother Augustine, Dr. John MacArthur, Dr. Charles Stanley, Rev. John Piper and Pastor Paul Washer.

Women are looking for a fathers love

Women are looking for a fathers love. Its important that men understand women are looking for a fathers love and not get screwed. Woman more than anything are looking for a strong spiritual man to lead the future (the family). I think in many YouTube videos on biblical teachings, how young women are being hurt by men that are just looking to get laid instead of doing right and being in Christ and setting a good example of a strong man. We must be in Christ, hate no one, love all, forgave theses we resent, love what is right and support people who are walking with God.

Women need their fathers in their lives to be strong man to be good examples and not BETA men or weak examples of what a man should be. Its important that a man leads the way as Christ leads men, we as man need to fellow Jesus Christ to keep society from going to HELL.

Every day you can see or people watch how some men and women our living in hell without the right spiritual order then you will continue your hellish way according to 2 Peter. You can also find it in Romans. God will give you over to a reprobate mind.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient. – Romans 1:28 (KJV)

In Romans 1, Paul refers to something known as a reprobate mind. If you’re not familiar with the term reprobate, the literal definition in the Greek is failing to pass the test, unapproved, counterfeit.

Spiritual Order – In The Family and Church

God the father

Jesus Christ

Father (Men over women)

Mother (Women over children)

Here is Book, Chapter and Verse from the Kings James Version 1 Corinthian 11:2-16, But the main message is in 1 Corinthian 11:3: “³ But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

A Woman Conferring The Spiritual Order According to Saint Paul And How The War On The Family Is Being Wage

How You Treat People Is Who You Are! On Judgement Day You Will Be Judged How You Treated The Less Fortunate (Open Letter)

New Social Contract To Save The West!

Should America And The Western World Have A New Social Contract? (Open Letter)

Father’s Rights

Open Letter To: President Joe Biden, President Putin, Pope Francis, Governors Of All States In America (Any Government Leaders, Officials Who Call Jesus Christ Lord):

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How God Commands Us To Forgive Those Who We Have Resentment Toward.

All of us are tested everyday by our personal internal struggle coming from resentment of what happened earlier in our lives as children typically what our mother did to us, telling how our fathers were not good enough or driving us away from our fathers when we were children. We most go to the people that we have resentment against and forgive them. By forgiving our mothers or whoever we have resentment against, God will forgive us and we can return to the heavenly Father through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

It was said if you don’t love everyone then you love no one. People today live like the Old Testament people did. We must forgive and love everyone as God Commanded us to do according to Matthew 22:34-40.

After Reading The Passage I would Recommend Doing A Silent Prayer

Its is said: Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10 King James Version (KJV)

Jesus is an example of a Fathers loves

Join Our Newsletter

Top Seven Articles

• The Problem With Older Women Liking/Dating Younger Men
• I Dream A Dream That All Men Would Have Love For One Another
• IF by Rudyard Kipling (A Life Changing Poem)
• HOW to be PERFECT… According to Jesus Matthew 5:43-48
• Let Women Come To You
• The Willful Submission of a Christian Wife (Ephesians 5:22-24)
• The Greatest Mistake Man Has Ever Made?

The List Children Of The Lie!!

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Special Articles:

Who Was Jezabelle In The Bible?

Is Malachi An Indictment Against Mankind?

What does the Bible say about breaking generational curses?

Its Time To Repeal Women’s Rights To Contact Your Elected Official

Is It Time To Establish Israel/The New Jerusalem As Head Of The World

The Terrifying Truth About The Antichrist

Sexual Revolution, Perverted Revolution, Then Reprobates

Are The Black Hebrew Israelites The Synagogue of Satan Accusation in Revelation 2:9?

A Wife Should Be “A Mirror” To Her Husband?

Heretic Series/Beware Of The Wolf In Sheeps Clothing

Is The Mormon Church Heretics? Of Arianism Heresy

Is Rev. Robert W. Lee A Heretic?

Does Gino Jennings Know Hes a Heretic? Of The Arianism Heresy Part Two

Is Islam And All Muslims Heretics? Of Arianism Heresy

Is Gino Jennings A Heretic? Of Arianism Heresy

Is Jesse Lee Peterson A Heretic? Of Arianism Heresy

Who Are the 5 percenter or 5%? Are They Heretics

Who Is Billy Carson? Why Does Billy Teach A Different Gospel Of Our Lord Jesus Christ?

In a world where it is so easy to forget the importance of God, we must remember that He is holy and will not share His glory. America has forgotten this truth and it is time for us to re-examine our relationship with God and recognize that He is the one true God who deserves our full devotion and reverence. We must remember that He will not be taken lightly or ignored, but rather should be honored as the Creator of all things. Only then can we truly experience His love and grace in our lives.

America Has Forgotten! That God The Father Is Holy And He Will Not Share His Glory!

God Reveals Himself

Click the link about a PDF how God reveals himself to you: God Reveals and Satan Speaks to you!

Our Mission Statement

Uniting men of good character who, though of different ethnic or social backgrounds, share a belief in the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of mankind. Bring Men back to the Father and sharing the biblical view of the Heavenly Father.

Our Vision

By returning to our heavenly father God thru the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ we can rebuilt the family, once the man is recognized as the head of the family and household. Partner with us as we develop a community, mission, and leadership support for the men of today.

Now is the time for a new movement of men. As brothers, fathers let’s become who we’re created to be, knowing our identity, purpose, and destiny in Christ. Then let’s do, linking arms to change the world for good … and for God. Help bring transformation and revival to our families, churches, and communities.

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When Tithing please give what you feel is good to the amount we are helping you in your spiritual life. We are a for profit Ministry meaning we take all profits or donations and give it back to the community we service. Please visit our sponsors down below or along the side of the website, Thanks.

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Conclusion

Hope this post was helpful to you and that you have a very successful Daily Bible Study with your friends and family!  Check out the other sections of my blog for more tips on MadeManMinistries.

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